Picture this: you’re heading out for work, keys jingling, coat in hand. Behind you, your beloved companion starts pacing nervously, whimpering, maybe even following you to the door with those big, pleading eyes. That pit in your stomach tells you everything you need to know – your dog is struggling with separation anxiety, and honestly, so are you.
Separation anxiety is triggered when dogs become upset because of separation from their guardians, the people they’re attached to. Dogs with separation-related behavior problems engage in unwanted behavior such as destruction of property and excessive vocalization when left alone, causing distress for both the dog and the owner, and often leading to the dog being relinquished or euthanized. Escape attempts by dogs with separation anxiety are often extreme and can result in self-injury and household destruction, especially around exit points like windows and doors.
Yet here’s what I find comforting: separation anxiety isn’t your fault, and it’s absolutely treatable. Let’s dive into understanding how our four-legged friends experience this challenge and discover practical ways to help them feel secure when we’re away.
Understanding What Really Happens When You Leave
According to Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. a Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist, although we can’t know for sure what’s in a dog’s mind, we can think of separation anxiety as the equivalent of a panic attack. The peak intensity of separation-related behaviors occurs shortly after the owner’s departure.
From an anxious dog’s perspective, the disappearance of their owner is more than just heartbreaking: It means they no longer have a reliable source of food, water, or care and, therefore, must fend for themselves or quickly reunite with their owner. Common symptoms of separation anxiety reflect an inability to cope with the stress of this perceived change (such as self-injury through excessive self-soothing behaviors like paw licking) or desperation to escape it (such as scratching at doors and barking).
Recognizing the Early Warning Signs
Dogs with separation-related problems will often show signs of excessive attachment to their owners. For example, dogs may follow their owners around when they are home, and when their owners are preparing to leave the house. Some dogs will begin to whine, pace, pant, or freeze as their owner’s departure becomes imminent.
Here are some behaviors your dog may exhibit: Anxious behaviors like pacing, whining, or trembling while you’re gone or as you prepare to leave. Excessive barking or howling. Destructive acts, such as chewing or digging, particularly around doors or windows. Accidents in the house – urinating or defecating. Excessive salivation, drooling, or panting. Desperate and prolonged attempts to escape confinement, potentially ending in serious injury.
Who’s Most at Risk for Developing Separation Anxiety
Although research is equivocal, dogs seem to develop separation-related behavior problems if they are male, sourced from shelters or found, and separated from the litter too early. Research suggests that dogs from shelters and strays may have higher rates of separation anxiety, and mixed breeds may also be at increased risk. Therefore, the dogs’ previous and current living conditions have an impact on the diagnosis, as many of these animals developed separation anxiety due to traumatic experiences.
Other triggers to watch for involve life changes like a sudden switch in schedule, a move to a new house, or the sudden absence of a family member, whether it’s a divorce, a death in the family, or a child leaving for college. Older dogs are more likely to develop separation anxiety, since they are less able to cope with changes in their surroundings.
The Pandemic Effect on Our Dogs
During the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of American households welcomed new canine companions into their families. This means that as owners have been called back into the office in more recent years, many pairings have had to separate for the first time.
This impacted “pandemic puppies,” dogs that were born and raised during lockdown restrictions, to an even greater degree. As the American Animal Hospital Association explains, “Animals are best able to learn to respond to social and physical environments during specific neurodevelopmental life stages.” Unfortunately, the pandemic severely reduced the environments and situations available for growing dogs to explore during their periods of neurodevelopment, as social interactions for both humans and animals were severely limited.
The Emotional Connection Between You and Your Dog
Recent studies demonstrate that bonded dogs and humans can experience what is known as emotional contagion: The way a friend’s smile can make us happy or our child’s hurts also make us feel hurt, our emotions can be influenced by those around us, including the pets we steward. Without intervention, this shared anxiety can become cyclical and self-perpetuating. However, this also means improvement in a dog’s anxiety will naturally ease it in its owner as well.
Think about it like this: your dog picks up on your stress just like you sense theirs. Have you ever considered that your pup might be mimicking your stressful energy? Your dog is very in tune with you and what you’re putting out into the world. If your house is chaotic, filled with screaming children, vocal pet parents, blasting music, so on and so forth, your dog is most likely going to feel that energy.
Systematic Desensitization: The Gold Standard Treatment
The most successful treatment for canine separation-related problems may be behavior modification that focuses on systematic desensitization and counterconditioning, which can be supplemented with other approaches. Hence, the owner is advised to leave the dog, initially, for a few seconds, and then to re-enter the house or room and praise the dog. The length of separation is gradually increased until the required period of absence is reached without the reoccurrence of the problem behavior. Presenting short owner absence times repeatedly should ensure that non-anxious behavior will generalize to longer times.
At this point, you can start to incorporate very short absences into your training. Start with absences that last only last one to two seconds, and then slowly increase the time you’re out of your dog’s sight. When you’ve trained up to separations of five to ten seconds long, build in counterconditioning by giving your dog a stuffed food toy just before you step out the door. Once your dog can tolerate 40 minutes of separation from you, you can increase absences by larger chunks of time (5-minute increments at first, then later 15-minute increments). Once your dog can be alone for extended periods without getting upset or anxious, you can gradually work up to longer absences. (Just to be safe, try leaving him alone for four hours at first, and then work up to eight full hours over a few days.)
The Importance of Staying Under Threshold
“Threshold” is a term used in dog behavior to mean the level at which a dog can cope with a specific stimulus. For example, one dog’s threshold for being alone might be five minutes. After five minutes, the dog exhibits separation anxiety symptoms. Staying under threshold means that the dog is not left alone longer than five minutes.
Absence suspension means never leaving your dog alone for longer than they can handle. This is done at the beginning of separation anxiety treatment for a few reasons. It prevents your dog’s anxiety symptoms from happening in the first place. Your dog’s brain and body are getting a much-needed reset. It’s really important to keep that contract. Even one mistake in which your dog is left for longer than they are able to handle can cause regression. In fact, you’re likely to have to start over with your training.
Counterconditioning: Changing Emotional Associations
Counterconditioning is a treatment process that changes an animal’s fearful, anxious or aggressive reaction to a pleasant relaxing one. It’s done by associating the sight or presence of a feared or disliked person, animal, place, object or situation with something really good, something the dog loves. Over time the dog learns that whatever he fears actually predicts good things for him. For dogs with separation anxiety, counterconditioning focuses on developing an association between being alone and good things like delicious food.
For example, try giving your dog a KONG® stuffed with something really tasty, like low-fat cream cheese, spray cheese or low-fat peanut butter, frozen banana and cottage cheese, or canned dog food and kibble. A KONG can even be frozen so that getting all the food out takes even more of your dog’s time. Be sure to remove these special toys as soon as you return home so that your dog only has access to them and the high-value foods inside when he’s by himself. Remember though, this approach will only work for mild cases of separation anxiety because highly anxious dogs usually won’t eat when their guardians aren’t home.
Creating the Right Environment for Success
During the times when you are interacting with your dog, make sure that you are meeting all of his needs for social interactions, play, exercise, training, and elimination. In effect, you should initiate enough regular interactive sessions and provide enough play and attention so that when each session is over, your dog is prepared to settle down and relax. At this point, new exploratory and chew toys can be given so that your dog has novel and motivating toys on which to focus when it is time to settle. Feeding toys can also replace standard food bowls to make feeding time more of a mental and physical effort.
During these training exercises, use as many cues as possible to help relax the dog. Mimic the secure environment that your dog feels when you are at home. Leave the TV on. Play a favorite video or some music. Leave a favorite blanket or chew toy in the area. All of these cues may help to calm your dog.
The Role of Crate Training (When Done Right)
Here’s where things get nuanced. The quick answer is no. If your dog already has ingrained separation anxiety, crating alone cannot change this. You will need to take a number of other steps to effectively address this behavior. Yet, In combination with other approaches though crate training can help a dog work towards decreased separation anxiety. However, if you can combine the crate training process with a lot of positive connections and very gradually extend the period that you leave your dog alone, it can be a helpful tool. Crates (or also exercise pends and small rooms) effectively stop the incessant motion some dogs with separation anxiety exhibit.
One of the biggest mistakes that dog owners make when crate training their dogs, especially if their dog has separation anxiety, is only crating their dog when they leave the house. They might spend a little time tossing treats in the crate to get their dog accustomed to going in… But the first time the dog is in there for any extended length of time… The owner is nowhere to be found. And now the dog feels trapped by the crate, and alone. And that anxiety they originally felt when their owner left is now exacerbated by their confinement.
The better approach? We sit down and watch TV the first time the dog is confined – My crates are set up just next to my TV. So I remain in my dog’s direct line of sight and they can see me relaxing. This makes it far easier for them to relax too.
Prevention: Building Independence from Day One
Protective factors include ensuring a wide range of experiences outside the home and with other people, during their critical early development period, stable household routines and absences from the dog, and the avoidance of punishment. Separation anxiety might be prevented by ensuring that puppies have scheduled times where they learn to spend time alone in their own crates or beds.
Here’s the good news: As the responsible owner of a new puppy, hopefully you’re already laying the foundation for a well-adjusted, well-behaved dog. Puppy training, socialization, crate training, and teaching your puppy how to enjoy being alone all contribute. Therefore, many of the recommendations here are things you may already be doing or have already done. Think of it as building your puppy’s confidence toolkit from the start.
When you bring home a new dog, avoid emotional overload. It is very tempting to spend 24 hours a day with your new companion during his first weekend home, and then leave him alone for eight straight hours on Monday. Instead, build gradually scheduled alone time into their routine right from the beginning.
Separation anxiety doesn’t have to be a life sentence for you or your dog. With patience, consistency, and the right approach, most dogs can learn to feel comfortable when left alone. The key is understanding that this is a genuine emotional challenge for your pup, not stubbornness or spite.
Start small, celebrate tiny victories, and remember that progress isn’t always linear. Some days will be better than others, and that’s completely normal. What matters most is that you’re committed to helping your furry friend feel secure and loved, whether you’re home or away.
Did you recognize your dog’s behavior in any of these descriptions? What strategies are you most excited to try? Share your experiences in the comments below.
Gargi from India has a Masters in History, and a Bachelor of Education. An animal lover, she is keen on crafting stories and creating content while pursuing a career in education.
