You know that look your dog gives you when you accidentally step on their paw? The one that makes you feel like you’ve just committed the ultimate betrayal? I think we’ve all been there. Some dogs will shower you with kisses seconds later, while others might give you the cold shoulder for what feels like eternity.
The truth is, not all dogs process their emotions the same way. While scientists agree that dogs don’t actually hold grudges like humans do, they absolutely form associations based on their experiences. Some breeds bounce back from negative encounters almost instantly, their tails wagging as if nothing happened. Others seem to remember every slight, every vet visit, every bath time struggle. Let’s dive into which breeds fall into each camp.
Golden Retriever: The Eternal Optimist
Golden Retrievers are always eager to please and have a calm temperament, which means they will be happy to socialise with everyone. Honestly, if there was ever a breed that embodied pure forgiveness, it’s the Golden. These dogs are so gentle and easygoing that even if you accidentally shut the door on their tail, they’ll look at you like you hung the moon two minutes later.
They are easy-going, affectionate and playful, but gentle with children, making them an ideal family dog. Their forgiving nature isn’t just about being sweet, though. It’s deeply embedded in their temperament. They were bred to work alongside humans, retrieving game without damaging it, which required patience and a cooperative spirit. That same trait translates to home life where mistakes are quickly forgotten and affection flows freely.
Labrador Retriever: The Perpetual Friend
Labs are famously forgiving, almost to a fault. Labrador Retrievers are one of the most popular dog breeds worldwide. They are known for their friendly and outgoing personality, intelligence, and versatility. You could leave them alone all day and come home to pure, unadulterated joy.
These dogs live firmly in the present moment. Sure, they might sulk for a hot second if you leave without them, yet within moments of your return, it’s like you never left. Their ability to forgive stems from their original purpose as working dogs who needed to remain focused and unbothered by minor setbacks. That resilience makes them incredibly adaptable family pets who don’t sweat the small stuff.
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: The Gentle Soul
Due to their welcoming disposition, the Cavalier makes a great therapy dog. These little companions were literally bred to sit on laps and provide comfort. Their entire existence revolves around making their humans happy, which means holding grudges simply isn’t in their DNA.
Cavaliers have such soft, forgiving temperaments that they can adapt to almost any living situation. They’re sensitive enough to pick up on your emotions yet resilient enough not to take things personally. If you scold them for chewing your favorite shoe, they might look dejected for a moment, but give them a gentle pat and they’re right back to being your devoted shadow. Their eagerness to please overrides any lingering negative feelings.
Newfoundland: The Patient Giant
These gentle giants have a low prey drive and are known for their calm, sweet nature. They’re affectionate, patient, and deeply loyal, especially toward children, which has earned them the nickname “nanny dogs”. Newfoundlands possess an almost supernatural level of patience and forgiveness.
Newfoundland dogs move through life at a slow, patient pace that naturally lowers stress. Their nurturing temperament and affectionate nature create a steady sense of calm in the home. These massive dogs were bred for water rescue, which required them to remain calm under pressure and not panic when things went wrong. That same steadiness means they’re incredibly forgiving of human mistakes. You can bump into them, forget their walk, or even give them a bath they hate, and they’ll still lean against you with all their love.
Pug: The Cheerful Clown
Pugs are known for their playful yet easygoing nature. While they may not be the calmest dog breed overall, Pugs make affectionate and charming companions who enjoy many long hours napping. These little characters are far too busy being adorable to hold grudges.
Pugs have such expressive faces that you always know what they’re thinking, and mostly they’re thinking about snacks and cuddles. If you upset them, they might snort dramatically or give you side-eye, but it never lasts. Their clownish personality means they move through life looking for the next fun moment rather than dwelling on past wrongs. It’s hard to stay mad when you’re a dog whose primary concern is whether dinner is coming soon.
Bernese Mountain Dog: The Gentle Companion
Bernese Mountain Dogs are known for their calm and friendly nature. They form strong bonds with their families and are generally good with other pets. These beautiful tricolored dogs are as forgiving as they are fluffy.
Regardless of their large size, Bernese Mountain dogs are calm dogs in terms of exercise. They tend to be docile with kids and other animals, and also prefer to be couch potatoes all day long. Bernese have such gentle souls that even when they’re corrected or accidentally hurt, they don’t hold it against you. They’re sensitive enough to understand when something negative happens but secure enough in their bond with you not to let it damage the relationship. Their loyalty runs deep, and that loyalty includes forgiveness.
Afghan Hound: The Independent Aristocrat
Here’s where things get interesting. Afghan Hounds are breathtakingly beautiful, but they’re also notoriously aloof and independent. Afghan (had several as a child and all were not trustworthy, 2 bit friends and all failed obedience classes repeatedly). These dogs weren’t bred to please humans the way retrievers were.
Afghans remember everything. If you scold them harshly or handle them roughly, they’ll withdraw and become distant. They’re sensitive dogs with long memories, and negative experiences can shape their behavior for months or even years. They don’t necessarily plot revenge, but they absolutely form lasting negative associations with people or situations that made them uncomfortable. Their independent streak means they’re perfectly content to avoid you if they feel wronged.
Chow Chow: The Dignified Guardian
Chow Chows are famously one-person dogs with a dignified, almost cat-like temperament. They’re incredibly loyal to their chosen human but can be standoffish with everyone else. These dogs have long memories and aren’t quick to forgive perceived slights.
If a Chow Chow decides you’ve wronged them, whether through rough handling, teasing, or even just being a stranger who invaded their space, they’ll remember. They may not be aggressive, but they’ll avoid you, ignore your commands, or simply refuse to engage. Their protective nature combined with their independent personality means they process negative experiences differently than more forgiving breeds. Building trust with a Chow requires patience and consistency.
Basenji: The Clever Thinker
Basenjis are often called “cat-like” dogs, and that description extends to how they handle negative experiences. These dogs are wickedly intelligent and form very specific associations. If something or someone causes them distress, they won’t forget it easily.
Basenjis were bred to hunt independently in Africa, which means they learned to make decisions without human input. That independence translates to a dog who doesn’t automatically forgive and forget. They’re not spiteful, but they’re careful. If a groomer hurts them or a visitor is too rough, that Basenji will remember and act accordingly next time. They’re problem-solvers who learn from experience, and sometimes those lessons involve avoidance rather than forgiveness.
Siberian Husky: The Stubborn Free Spirit
Huskies are gorgeous, energetic, and famously stubborn. They’re pack animals who understand social dynamics keenly, which means they also understand when they’ve been treated unfairly. These dogs have excellent memories, especially when it comes to negative experiences.
If you’re inconsistent with training, break your routine, or handle them roughly, a Husky will remember. They might not show obvious signs of holding a grudge, but they’ll become less cooperative, more defiant, or simply choose to ignore you. Huskies need respect and consistency. When those are lacking, they form negative associations that can last for extended periods. Their intelligence works against quick forgiveness because they truly understand cause and effect.
Shiba Inu: The Proud Samurai
Shibas are compact, beautiful dogs with enormous personalities and even bigger attitudes. They’re often described as having a “Shiba scream” when upset, and that drama extends to how they process negative experiences. These dogs are sensitive and remember everything.
If you accidentally hurt a Shiba, scold them too harshly, or violate their personal boundaries, expect the cold shoulder. They’re not aggressive about it, but they’ll withdraw their affection and become distant. Shibas are incredibly loyal to their families but require gentle, respectful handling. Their independent nature means they don’t need constant approval, so if they decide you’re not trustworthy, they’ll simply avoid interaction. Rebuilding trust with a Shiba takes time and patience.
Akita: The Loyal Protector
Akitas are powerful, dignified dogs with fierce loyalty to their families. That loyalty comes with high standards. These dogs bond deeply with their people, but they’re not pushovers. If someone mistreats them or violates their trust, Akitas remember forever.
Significant emotional events, like abuse, tend to be stored long-term. Previous experiences: Dogs with past trauma or neglect may be more sensitive to stress. Akitas fall into this category naturally due to their temperament. They were bred as guard dogs in Japan, which required them to assess threats and remember potential dangers. That same trait means negative experiences with people create lasting wariness. They’re not quick to forgive strangers or anyone who’s hurt them, and their size makes their displeasure impossible to ignore.
The Science Behind Canine Memory
So what’s actually happening when dogs seem to hold grudges? Dogs don’t hold grudges in the way people do, explains Sarah Rutten, a force-free dog trainer, behaviorist, and founder of the Canine Perspective. They’re not trying to punish you or get revenge, but dogs can form negative associations – and they may seem upset as they try to cope with those feelings.
The behavior that makes many people assume their dog is holding a grudge is more likely their response to a negative association. The dog isn’t thinking back on the specific thing that made them upset, they’re getting bad vibes from an associative memory. They more than likely don’t remember why they feel the way they do, but that doesn’t make the emotion any less influential. The difference between forgiving breeds and those that seem to hold grudges often comes down to how sensitive they are to forming negative associations and how long those associations persist.
What’s your experience been? Have you noticed your dog forgiving you instantly, or does yours give you the silent treatment for hours? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
